I first met Johnathon at work in October of 2025. We both worked in the deli of a grocery store, and at the time, I had no idea our brief exchanges of small talk would grow into wide-ranging conversations about music and personal stories.
I became close with Johnathon and learned he was once a drug addict. He discussed openly with me about his struggles and life before recovery. In those months we worked together, I learned a lot about addiction, the recovery process, and building one’s identity and purpose.
Fast forward to now, Johnathon and I are on different paths- but his story always stuck with me. I reached out not long ago to ask for an interview, and he agreed to one.
After months apart, Johnathon greeted me on his front porch. It overlooked a small grass lawn and bird feeder. A blue sky stretched overhead, and the sound of wind chimes danced next door. We sat down and picked up right where we left off.
What follows is an in-depth conversation about Johnathon’s personal story and journey to recovery.
What is your name, and any info you want to share?
Johnathon Dale. Originally from Princeton, Illinois. 42. Pisces. I like long walks on the beach.
What led you to move to Rushville?
It’s wild to say, but a woman, right? I was living in Springfield in a recovery home. In December 2024, I overdosed on fentanyl. The next day I was at Gateway (drug addiction treatment center) just because I had lost control. I had relapsed.
And for me, I have some mental health issues that when things got to a depraved desperation, my life became optional. Not now, I know I am in no threat to myself. But when it gets to that point and I’m using, death doesn’t scare me. But, at that moment I could have been a number. And that’s always been my biggest fear was to be another statistic to this epidemic that’s killing all my friends.
So I went to rehab, and I was in a halfway house ran by this woman.
I ended up getting this roommate, and him and her started meshing, and it didn’t vibe with me because it was just not really cool.
Like, you’re bringing guys in from rehab and fresh off the street who are relying on you for a safe, healthy environment to live in. But the woman who is running the house is preying on her clientele. Like, that is absolutely not okay. I always voiced my opinion and they kind of cooed against me and put me out.
So, I threw everything into my truck.
A month prior, I broke my foot, and I was in this immobile cast. I had a friend In Springfield who gave me a place to stay because I couldn’t work and I was out of rehab. So, as soon as I got the money, I paid back every bit of dept.
So, it had been a month, and my friend was like “if your doctor doesn’t release you, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”
He didn’t release me, so I just packed my truck up and left. Two weeks later, I met Monica through an adult mingling app.
I came down here for a weekend, just hung out. So, we kept in contact and she was like “if you ever need anything, man, call me.”
So, this friend bamboozled me to come down to Gibson City and was like, you can work with us, make some money.”
And I’m like, “cool, get a room or something.”
Well, I get down there and it’s not work. It’s like a meth haven in this old church. They’re redoing the inside into old apartments, but it’s a whole bunch of meth-heads, and they’re all bunking it.
I called Monica, and I was like, “hey, I know you haven’t heard from me in months but I'm in a really fucking bad spot. I just need a friend for a minute.
She’s like, “alright, I’ll get you the gas, and you can come here for a couple of days.”
And it just kind of worked into what it is, man.
Has living in Rushville had a positive or negative impact on your life?
I was in Champagne (before Springfield) and it was fast. Guns, drugs, college kids, money, it’s fast all over.
I got here and this is not that, right? So, that slow pace allowed me a lot of room for mental exploration. I had found a real level of peace where I could actually let go of all of it. So, I found that, and I don’t think I could have found that anywhere else, but here. She (Monica) is my best friend, period.
I found a way out, not everybody does.
How were you different before moving to Rushville?
I was a heroin addict for twenty years. I wasn’t always a needle user, but I saw people reaching a supremacy on high levels that I wasn’t getting off a snort, and I was like, “how are you doing that?”
So, I was introduced to needles.
And once you're introduced to needles, it just becomes any drug that is water soluble, and it was going in my body through that needle.
I was just out there making bad decisions. Making babies and not being a father. But those are relationships that I am working on now because I got a chance, right? Not everybody gets a chance to fix the shit they’ve ruined along the way, and not all of us addicts get that opportunity.
I didn’t care about anybody. I forced myself to be unapproachable, to be someone not to fuck with. I’m not saying I’m a badass, because I’m not. I’ve had my ass whooped, bro.
But that’s just what got me by.
When I came home from juvenile prison, I had my own choice. My mom came to pick me up, but I chose to go off in the other direction.
I learned everything on how to be a monster in there. It was a maximum-security facility at the time.
Why did you go to Juvie?
It began with running away from home, being caught with drugs, and eventually, they said I was just excelling in my criminal behavior.
I was like, 130 pounds when I first got there, little, tiny white kid who didn’t know nothing about nothing. So, I definitely armed myself with every bit of knowledge to be the baddest motherfucker I could be even though I was never big enough to be.
It went from willing to hit him in the balls to bite his fucking ear off, because I’m not gonna lose. Like, I just didn’t care. I didn’t know why for a long time because there was so much undealt pain and so much undealt self-hatred.
In that environment, you couldn’t be hurt and you couldn’t show you were weak. Having feelings was all a fucking weakness, so I turned it off. And I got lost for a long time because when I turned that off, the savagery got real.
You said you repressed your feelings because that was the only way to survive; was there ever a moment so difficult you displayed emotion or feelings?
Every time I did something that hurt somebody or jeopardized my health, my guilt was through the roof. I only turned it off at surface level because I was not going to let you see I was affected, but I was.
I’m not a bad person; I’ve just done some bad things. My heart was never in the stuff I did.
Was there a defining moment that made you check into rehab? Or was it more so a series of problems that led you to go?
It took three days.
I drove to Champagne and got a gram of heroin.
I remember waking up on a park bench in Bloomington, with my guitar plugged into my amp, and my truck was still on with the door open.
A day later, I woke up in the parking lot at work. But I was nodding out and burnt a hole through my pants, stuck my underwear to my leg, and that was it.
At peak addiction, would you have ever imagined yourself where you are right now?
No.
I didn’t think I was going to live past 24.
At 26, I was in the hospital after an overdose. I woke up, and my mom was there. I’m like, “are you alright?”
And she says, “this doesn’t bother me, John. I planned your funeral a long time ago.”
That’s one thing that hangs with me a lot because you don’t ever want your mom to feel that way.
We don’t think about the people we hurt along the way; I have five children, but I have a relationship with two and a half. I’m working on the one with my 15-year-old, but I have two I’ll never get back because of the decisions I made.
My heart hurts for it, but it’s my fault. They’re so much better than the life I could have given them, and they stand every bit of a chance to have a great life. So, I’m happy with what’s going on.
Everything has its own reason; that’s something I picked up.
You lent me a copy of The Narcotic’s Anonymous Step Working Guide, a while back. Was the first step the most difficult?
Yes, and no.
We admit that we were powerless in our addiction; that’s the first step. So, the hard part was understanding that I had already started working out that step by admitting I needed to go to rehab.
Although I didn’t understand it at the time, I was making the decision that my life was unmanageable, I couldn’t handle it and I needed help.
It probably took me a year. In the beginning I was focused on the drugs. But the drugs were just symptoms.
There are twelve steps, but they’re broken into a lot of little steps. Step 2 is that we come to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. It doesn’t have to be God, or Buddha. It can be a doorknob. Whatever works for you, man.
Focus on what helps you realize you aren’t the center of the universe, because most of us are self-centered addicts. It’s our world, and the people that are in it are just the ones we let in.
The steps work in a sequential order, so it just makes you stronger, and stronger.
I am so grateful for every opportunity I’ve had being able to come here because it gave me a level of peace that I needed to grow in life. I chuckle only out of the fact that I don’t know why. There’s some mystical reason for whoever saw fit to not let me be another number.
I remember you talking highly of Sahdguru. Do you still follow him?
For sure.
You hear guru, and people think of some esoteric character floating on a lotus flower.
A guru is the bringer of light; light is knowledge. He’s a director of a path that you can follow. It’s a guide, so I absolutely fill my day full of Sadhguru.
I’ve learned a lot from different avenues of spirituality and religion; I’m a mutt. I pick and pull whatever works for me. That’s what I chose to do a few years ago because it just works.
This last year, I’ve been able to sit and take all these different things that I’ve been trying to figure out and balance them to what works, and it’s working.
If you could look back and reflect, what are a few words you would use to describe your life?
Give me a minute, I’ll figure it out.
Yeah, take your time.
No, that’s it. If I could describe my life in any way, that would be it. Give me a minute, I’ll figure it out.
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